What the Heck is S&M and Why Do It?

Sadism and Masochism- I can talk about De Sade and Masoch, but I won’t.  You can do your own research if so inclined to learn about those gentlemen.  I’d rather start right at the topic and skip the prologue.

S&M is Sadism and Masochism:  Sadism is the tendency to derive pleasure and / or sexual enjoyment from inflicting pain or humiliation;  Masochism is the tendency to derive pleasure and/or sexual enjoyment from receiving pain or humiliation.  The pain inflicted or received does not need to be physical – it can be physical, mental, or emotional.  It can be a combination of any or all of these.

Personally, I identify as a sadomasochist (among a lot of other things)- yep, I like to dish out pain and take it.  Why? Because, quite frankly, I get off on it, and I enjoy it.  I don’t stop at physical pain. I enjoy emotional pain and mental anguish.  Putting someone into a state of angst and discomfort is fun. I also enjoy being in those states.  Even an tumultuous emotionally charged break up can get my engine going and excite me. Clearly, however, one cannot just date for the break up and doing so would be a less than fulfilling lifestyle choice. So, I explore those same feelings in a safer, less destructive space. That space is S&M.

The practice of S&M releases a smorgasbord of chemicals into the body.  Quite simply, those chemicals feel good.  BDSM can also allow people to explore different forms of intimacy and different ranges of emotion through a cycle of physical, mental, and emotional stress and cathartic release.

Hi,  I'm Lucy! I tend to love the essay- a lot. I also love story telling and just sharing my experiences as I see them- usually with a bit of snark and humor in the mix.  I've been active in the VA, MD, DC BDSM scene for about 15 years, as a bottom, a top, a switch, a submissive and a lot of weird stuff in between, I am also a masochist as well as a sadist.  I am a graysexual and can relate to the ACE perspective as well. You can find me on Fetlife as LucyMarshall, feel free to drop me a line!