The Art of Spanking

DISCIPLINE comes in many forms in the kink world. Spanking is just one form, albeit a popular one, it is one of many.

There are a a few things that you need to know about this fetish, such as approaching the subject, mutual respect, the actual spanking, the proper tools to use, the appropriate scene, the levels of intensity and aftercare.

Approaching the subject with your partner should be like approaching anything new. JUST ASK!!! If your partner is uncomfortable with it then do not push the issue. If your partner is willing to experiment with you then here are a few things you should know:


Before you engage in any relationship, physical or otherwise , then you should have a mutual respect for each other’s wants, needs and desires. This particular fetish requires a lot of TRUST on both parties. If your partner desires to be spanked lightly then spank them lightly. DO NOT TRY TO PUSH THEM TO ANOTHER LEVEL, unless they ask for it during the scene or if it was predetermined prior to the scene between the both of you. This type of fetish needs to be desired, by both parties, for it to be pleasurable. If only one partner is enjoying it then it is not productive.


I used my experiences as a child. Yes, corporal punishment was part of my childhood and I survived but that is another writing….. Anyways, if you use your hand start with a general slap on the buttox. Then a swipe, it’ll sting but it will not harm. Then rub the area after the sting. This shows compassion and creates trust. Then if you move onto tools you should uses the same methods. This is not about inflicting massive amounts of pain. It is about doing something that your partner enjoys.


As with most fetishes, spanking, involves the stimulation of sensations to obtain a desired level of pleasure. The art of spanking intensifies pleasure through pain. This has to be desired by your partner (on the receiving end) and there should be a discussion between the two of you prior to the scene so that this is very little grey area as to the level of pain that your partner desires to achieve their desired level of pleasure. A 1-5 scale is always good to use to keep things simple. This is very important. You should not get over zealous and start whacking away at someone just because you think you know what your partner needs! You could seriously hurt your partner if you are not careful.


The tools you use can vary. Each different tool you use can deliver different sensations to different areas of the body. The basic tool to start with is your hand. It is much easier to understand the intensity levels of your partner’s desires when you can feel it too. Then you can move to other tools such as belts, paddles or even canes. If you are creative though, that could be just as erotic to your partner as the act itself, because something made with thine own hands is a greater gift than if it were not.


Scenes are a very personal part of the act in itself. That being said, experiment in different scenes with your partner. One scene could be where they are given explicit instructions on where to go, what to take of at what point and when to do it. Another scene would be where they could be bound to a hard point and “punished” with a spanking. It all depends on you and your partner. But, mix it up and HAVE FUN with it. Do not be a “one trick pony” because that will get boring.


Aftercare is very important. You do not just spank someone then let them leave. This type of fetish is very personal between the two of you and requires a level of sensitivity for your partner afterwards. Hold them, caress them, cuddle with them. This is quality time with your partner that is just as important as the physical act was. Basically, as with any other aspect of this fetish, you should discuss what aftercare means to them so you can perform it properly after the physical act is finished. The mental connection that you share with your partner is very important and should not be overlooked.


My background is simple. I was introduced to this lifestyle over 10 years ago. My wife (at the time) wanted to try something different. So, I accommodated her after I did some research of my own. I researched what she wanted because I was afraid I would hurt her. Since that point I was hooked and have been experimenting ever since, but only after properly researching before I experiment. SAFETY is first and foremost.