What is TNG

Ever since 1999, when TNG was founded, it has found itself under debate. There have always been, and will always be, people who feel less than positive about its existence. Like many topics facing the SM community, this is one that not everyone will agree with. That is OK.

However, there have also been people misstating its purpose, butchering its history, and claiming how destructive it is without realizing it is the one of the few positive things to come out of the scene in the past decade. This is not OK.

Clearly it is time for someone to come in and try to clear up some of the confusion.

Please allow me to make an attempt. I am one of the four people who founded this damn thing (along with Kyri and Schelli from Black Rose, and Josh HighTower from TES in NYC)… so I am fairly well versed with the what’s and the why’s. I wrote about this once extensively in a speech I gave at Rio Grande Leather – you can read that speech here: https://fetlife.com/users/1443/posts/808564. But allow me to simplify it for you right here and now.

WHAT TNG IS NOT

TNG IS NOT DESIGNED TO KEEP CREEPY PEOPLE OUT

Creepy comes in all ages, all shapes, all sizes, all genders, all sexualities. Creepy is not something that happens to you when you grow old… creepy is something that just is. I am sick and tired of people trying to say it is otherwise. I have met just as many young creepy people as I have older. TNG is an age-based group, not one based on personalities.

And when someone TNG-aged says that this is the reason why it is exists, they are NOT speaking for the larger TNG community, I can assure you. They are speaking out of their own asshole mouths, and making things harder for the rest of us. Just like creepy people, assholes also come in all ages.

TNG IS NOT JUST FOR NOVICES

The four of us who founded TNG were by far not novices. All of us had multiple years under our belt, one of us was already a local titleholder in their community, and all four of us had already taught SM in both local and regional event settings. TNGers are educators, group leaders, board members… and they can also be novices, just trying the scene out, or still figuring out who they are after 1-2 years in the scene. TNG is not a group based on experience, it is a group based on age and lifestage.

TNG IS NOT AGEIST

TNG groups as a whole are not against playing with, learning from, talking to, sharing experiences with, or standing side by side with older members of our community. They are not trying to build their own self-contained community. They are simply creating a specific space for people their own age.

Are some groups better than others at this? Of course. All across the nation and even internationally, every TNG group manages themselves and conducts themselves differently. Some are very exclusive, some are open to others at times. As with groups, individuals also vary. Some people want to do nothing but spend time with fellow TNGers, others branch out to the larger scene. And that’s their choice.

But TNG itself, as a principle, as a group structure, as a movement, is NOT ageist. It is simply a separate space. Nothing more.

SO WHAT IS TNG?

TNG IS A SEPARATE SPACE FOR YOUNGER MEMBERS OF THE SCENE

The primary purpose of TNG has and always will be to provide a space for the younger members of the community to talk and discuss SM with those who are in a similar period within their lives. It is age based because it is meant to serve the young, who have unique experiences and unique challenges as compared to those who are older.

TNG IS A GATEWAY

The secondary purpose of TNG is to establish a gateway into the larger scene. Experience has shown us that many young people enter the scene looking to find their peers. TNG is that space – to get them comfortable, to establish a network of friends and acquaintances, and eventually see them comfortable enough to explore the larger scene.

When TNG was started at Black Rose and TES, both groups were not attracting young adults. Most young people would walk in the door, see little to no one their own age, and would walk right back out. Are there exceptions? Of course (hi, I’m one.) But for the most part, our groups were greying without any influx of younger, energetic people who brought with them new ideas, new energy, and most importantly, a willingness to volunteer and become involved.

In less than 5 years, TNGers at Black Rose and TES became volunteers, committee leaders, board members. They became educators, they started bringing in new ways of doing things…

TNG is the reason why these groups continue to exist. Without TNG, they might not have. Because it brought new and younger people into the fold.

Some of you will balk at that. But please, think about it. Think about who has become involved in your groups – think about where they came from. And I’ll wager you’ll find that TNG has done way more good than harm.

YES, TNG IS DISCRIMINATORY AND EXCLUSIVE

Many things in the community groups are. Men-only, women-only, queer space, spanking groups, rope groups, dominant men/submissive women groups, dominant women/submissive men groups, MAsT groups… the list goes on and on and on.

All of these groups are discriminatory. They are for a specific gender, or sexuality, or kink, or relationship structure. All of these groups have purpose, serve a need, and in the end build a larger community because they bring new people into the fold.

TNG is discriminatory, it is exclusive, and this is on purpose. It is the very reason why they work.

Some of you will never understand what I wrote above… some of you will never agree… and that is fine.

But just because you disagree with it does not mean it should go away.

Because… TNG WORKS. IT IS NEEDED.

The last 14 years have proved it.

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About

Phillip Wolf, more popularly known as Boymeat, is a native New Yorker. Discovering The Eulenspiegel Society (TES) at the age of 19, he quickly became an active participant and presenter in the New York SM scene. A former TES board member, he also holds memberships with the Gay Male SM Activists (GMSMA), the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) and the Leather Archives & Museum. He is also an associate member of the New York boys of Leather and active with New York’s Leather Pride Night Committee.

Best known for his outreach to the younger members of our community, he co-created the concept of The Next Generation (TNG), specialized groups serving young adults between the ages of 18 and 35 who are interested in SM. Boymeat was the co-founder of both TES-TNG and GMSMA-TNG, groups that helped kick off the national TNG movement. He also helped organize the first 3 national TNG conferences – Chickenstock in 1999, Second Coming in 2002, and TNG3: BDSM in the Big City in 2003. He has presented on TNG and other issues at multiple Leather Leadership Conferences.

Also known as a SM educator, he has taught at almost every major educational event in the United States. He has taught SM, role play, fetishes, and relationships at TES Fest, Black Rose, South Plains Leather Fest, Dungeon 701-901, Portland Kinkfest, and many others. He has also been asked to teach to students at New York University and Columbia University. Finally, he presented keynote speeches at SM Odyssey’s Folsom Fringe 2007, Rio Grande Leather 2007, TNG4: Bound for the Bay in 2008, and South Plains Leatherfest 2012.

Boymeat is honored to have experience on the title circuit as a judge both at Ms. World Leather 2006 and South East Leatherfest 2007. In addition, he appreciates the chutzpah it takes to run for a title, having run for Gotham Leatherman 2000. His latest and greatest honor has been being asked to serve as Tallymaster at International Mr. Leather 2008.

A bisexual, polyamourous switch, with a penchant for foot fetishism, incest role play and piss play, Boymeat is rumored to be the quite the sadist. An aspirational handcuff collector and leather history slut, he is the man who nerve.com said “makes the Marquis de Sade look like Pat Boone.”

Some of my speeches can be found on FetLife:

The History and Role of TNG from Rio Grand Leather 2007 – https://fetlife.com/users/1443/posts/808564

The Future of Leather from South Plains Leatherfest 2012 – https://fetlife.com/users/1443/posts/948705

TNG – About That Creepy Thing (a quick summary debunking myths about TNG and restating its purpose) – https://fetlife.com/users/1443/posts/1439502

Being a Cis-Gendered Male at a Women’s Event – https://fetlife.com/users/1443/posts/82364

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